A Fresh Look…
As I look back over the last year, I see things differently. I’m getting a fresh look on the past 12-18 months and can see things more clearly.
Sept – Dec 2011
What tough months; months of despair, sadness, rage, frustration, maybe even a little depression. We had waited longer than anticipated to add to our family, the Ethiopian adoption program had changed making things move slower, we had been passed over for a referral that ‘should have’ been ours… I remember the times of pressing into God, the times of memorizing Scripture, and those times bringing growth in my life, but growth is seldom easy. So many things made the last Advent and Christmas season feel so sad, wishing we had our youngest children in the home, not enjoying the meaning of Advent at all ‘joyful anticipation – waiting in anticipation’. Those descriptors felt hard to swallow in the season of life we were in.
With each January there’s a time to feel a sense of newness and I remember last year being able to say we will have a referral this year, whether for 1 child, 2 children, babies, toddlers, girls, boys… I don’t know. But we will have our referral this year and add to our family. There were times of complete trust and faithfulness on our part towards God that He would indeed bring about the promise of twins He had revealed to us over the last several years. Other times we failed miserably at trusting and I can remember the tears of uncertainty. (Can I just say God is so good and faithful to us even when I am not? So thankful for our loving God)
April 19-Jul 7 2012
What a whirlwind this short 2 1/2 month period was! We got a referral for our twin babies on April 19!! We traveled to Kansas once, Ethiopia twice, Uganda once and all of a sudden had 4 children! July 7 we were home! These were such joy filled months and a sense of awe of watching God’s faithfulness unfold and seeing a little more of His plan for our life!
The Present: (i.e. July 7 to now)
Our lives have changed. We have a family of 6, 4 children 5 and under, 3 boys and 1 girl, twins… What crazy months we’ve had and what joy we have had. Our big guy Noah is in kindergarten now and growing up to be such a fine young boy, our sweet Jonah will be 4 in less than 2 weeks, and finally is potty trained (YEA!!!!), is starting to dress himself more often than not, is ‘starting’ to be more interested in having mommy teach him school stuff, and overall just starting to really grow up, and then our sweet Micah and Makeda. Life is NOT dull. They are the busiest and most energetic babies I have had and there’s two of them…at the same time!
I remember when Noah was born and only having 1 child – life went on, I continued to work part time (albeit he was with me while I was working and traveling often) and there wasn’t really much of an adjustment. Then came Jonah and my life turned upside down. I no longer had a career, no longer had all the travel that I loved so much and I went through a stage of adjusting to being a full time SAHM. What a tough time. What really seemed to draw me out of that and set me on a path of purpose for my role as a mommy was a devotional study guide called Intentional Women. It spoke to me, loud and clear and helped me to truly understand the season I was in. Mommyhood is busy, but as time went on with 2 I was able to get a grasp and handle of day-to-day life. By the time Jonah was almost 2 I was able to say… life is getting easier, having 2 kids isn’t tough and I started adding a few things that were important to me. Juggling and balancing everything became smoother and smoother.
Today, life is busy, busy, busy. And I find myself in a new role of mommyhood. My life is full of just being mommy. Commitments outside of home life just seem to wear me out. The thought of hosting events which I have ALWAYS LOVED TO DO, seem daunting. This summer we did not have our weekly BBQ’s with 10-25 people, this fall we did not have our annual fondue party with 24-30 people, and just a couple of days ago we did not have our annual New Years Eve party with 40-60 people. And I’m OK with that. Which is also what seems really odd to me. And yet I’m thankful. I see that God is having me focus on the ministry in front of me – my family. He’s helping me to embrace my role as mommy more fully. I see that this time in life is just that… a season. With each season of life we learn, with each season we struggle (or at least I do), with each season we grow. and I’m thankful.
Ahhh… as someone who is a planner, who had a career as an Event Planner knowing the calendar 3 years out, the last couple of years have put a crimp on my planning style waiting, waiting and waiting some more to know when we could travel to bring our babies home. I am looking forward to ‘planning’ and hoping for things coming up.
In 3 weeks, I get to travel with my dear friend, Adrienne to an adoption conference and meet so many other AGCI momma’s who I have walked this adoption journey with. I CANNOT wait!! In February Jay gets to lead a trip to Ethiopia once again for our church and continue to build strong relationships with our ministry partners (OK, I’m not as thrilled as this means my husband will be away for a couple of weeks and I don’t get to go – but I’m also happy for him). We hope to have a trip to see my brother in Montana and visit Yellowstone as a family this year. We’re hopeful to get away for a few nights for our anniversary this fall. And we hope to travel to see Jay’s family for Christmas in Florida next year! All of these are just fun to think of as we can actually plan some of it.
I’m also looking forward to being able to say this year that I have known my husband for 10 years. 10 years! WOW – time flies and I’m so thankful that God brought us together. I’m excited to see Noah complete his first year of school and learning to read. I’m looking forward to Jonah ‘hopefully’ being able to buckle himself in the car seat (as it is not fun to reach into the back of a mini van over a baby in the middle row seat each and every time we get in an out of a car). I’m looking forward to the babies learning how to feed themselves a little, not buying formula, watching them walk (as they both have already taken 2 steps I’m sure this will be coming soon) which means I don’t have to carry them in and out of everywhere we go, going down to 1 nap which will open our days up a little, and I am so looking forward to hearing them begin to talk and hear their sweet voices. We already love to hear their laughter and giggles and can’t wait to hear those words.
And I’m looking forward to how God will grow each of us in this family. Each year about this time we talk about certain character qualities we will consistently pray over for each child and for us parents. God is faithful and as we ask Him to grow us in these areas and fill us with wisdom He is faithful to do so.
What are you looking forward to this year? I would love to hear what are you excited about.
For those who thought there would surely be a blog full of photos – I’m sorry. 🙂 Photos will hopefully be coming soon as I know that’s what you (i.e. Grandma and Mammie) want to see!